Twilight Times
by xXMidnightDreamerXx
Summary: Bella is making everyone write notes but everyone occasionally talks and does things. This all happens after Breaking Dawn.
1. Diary

Bella's diary

Today was awesome. I was with Edward the entire day, just me and him and this time there was no one there to bother us, just like I wanted. I can't believe how beautiful Esme's Isle is, it's just amazing, and Edward and I have the entire place to ourselves!! You know, while I am writing this I still can't believe how messy my writing is compared to my soon to be husbands! But anyway, the only thing bad about today was that Edward got a little carried away and, let's just say the pillows suffered for it….. poor little pillows =(. Well one other good thing came of this whole me and him time! Last night was amazing! Like better than the beauty of this island! That is until Edward was like "Love, this is too dangerous. You know that I might go too far and, well, just look at the pillows!" Yes, he had to mention the pillows, I do feel worse for the headboard the next night though….. poor, poor headboard. Well back to the nightly fun! =) I was having the time of my life Edward before he stopped me I mean I was like on fire and oh my gosh it was sooooo um…. Sorry about that….. I got a little carried away. Not as carried away as I did in bed with him, I mean come on! It was just like BAM! Ops… sorry did it again. I should go before I ruin my diary with soiled entries!

Off to skinny dip with Edward! ;)

-Bella

* * *

Edward's Diary

Oh my goodness I cannot believe myself. I got so close to hurting Bella last night and the night before. I am such a beast! I hurt her and she is covered in bruises but I got close to hurting her even worse! I have to be able to control myself if I am going to be a good husband for her. "Be safe" is what I tell her when I should really be telling myself that! What kind of vampire am I? =/ I want to do what is best for her but if I can't control my own actions towards her then I might put her at a greater risk. At least with me she's not a complete psycho jumping off cliffs or anything I mean what was she thinking?! Oh I'm Bella and I am just so miserable without Edward so I am going to jump off a cliff because I know he won't be able to live without me then he will come back, find me dead, then HE WILL KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE ALONE MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I can't believe I just wrote that, I love her so much I know she wouldn't think that, it's just… what was she thinking? Well, I'm going to be random and go skinny dipping with my love.

~Edward

P.S.

I so have better handwriting then Bella… just saying. =)

* * *

**Yea, so it's not all that good. But it's my first one so it is to be expected! I will write more as soon as possible! Thanks for reading! =)**


	2. Alice or Alice?

_Bella  
_**Edward  
**Alice  
**_Carlisle_**

Bella has once again started the note taking and now wants to give Alice a new name... oh joy!

* * *

_Alice! Guess what?!_

Hi, Bella. What is it?

_I have a new name for you!_

Really? Don't you mean nick-name?

_Name, nick-name. It's all the same in my world!_

**Hello Alice. Good-morning my love. What are you two talking about?**

_I was about to tell Alice her new name. Now shh!_

**Oh my. Alice... I wouldn't let her do this...**

Why not?

**Well, she gave me a "new name" last week and when I told her I didn't like it, well... I wasn't very happy that night.**

_That's _right_! Now stop taking the paper, I wanna tell Alice her new name!_

Wait, what was Edwards?

_Edward, would you like to tell her?_

**I'd rather not, love.**

_Edward..._

**-Sigh- **

_Don't MAKE me get the pickle jar._

**No, please! Anything but that!**

_Then say it!_

**Hmph. Eddi-bear Teddybear**

...

_Alice?_

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

**-grumbles-**

_Oh get over it! Now let me give Alice her new name._

**You'll regret it Alice.**

Whatever it is I am sure it is'nt nearly as bad as YOUR name. =)

**Alice...**

I'll be quiet.

_Good. Okay you ready?_

Do I have a choice?

_No._

Ready!

_Yay! Okay Alice... your new awesome name is...._

_Alice!_

**...**

...

**Bella, love....**

_Yiesssss Eddi-bear??_

**That's already her name.**

_Noooo._

**Yes, Bella. It is.**

Sorry Bella, but he's right. It's the same thing.

_No it's not!_

**How is it different?**

_Easy. Alice is Alice and Alice is Alice!_

**...**

Yea I don't get it either Bella.

_What. You don't appreciate my amazing new name giving skillz?!_

**No no Bella, we never said that!**

It's just, I already have that name, Bella.

_Whatever. You don't like it. =(_

No, Bella! I love it, it's my name!

_='(_

Fine. My new name is Alice.

_YAAAAAAAAAY! YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!!-_

**_Is Bella alright?_**

**No one knows.**

**_Ah. Should I get the needle?_**

Please.

**Bella, dear. Carlisle is going to get the needle. Please calm down and stop jumping on the couch.**

_The needle? You made him get the NEEDLE?!! You KNOW I don't like the needle!!!_

**Bella... I... I... I can explain!**

Yea... I'm gonna go before she explodes. Good luck Eddi-bear!

**No Alice! Don't leave me!**

_You made me do this Edward!_

**No! Please! Not the pickles!**

**_Bella. Please relax and slowly hand me the pickle jar._**

_DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO CARLISLE!_

**_Ahhh! -runs away like a pansy-_**

_MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!_

**NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!**

To be continued.... =)

* * *

I think that was better than the first chapter, don't you? Thank's for reading! It will be continued!


	3. Jacob the diva

Jacob  
_Bella  
_**Renesmee  
**Edward(underlined)  
**_Alice  
_Rosalie(underlined)**

Yes it's a lot of people but its good and you will know who's talking.  
Bella, Jacob, and Renesmee are just sitting around doing nothing. That is until Jacob falls asleep. Let the fun begin...

* * *

**Mommy?**

_Yes, Renesmee?_

**How long has it been since you took me hunting?**

_Oh I don't know, maybe just a little while. Why?_

**Well it seems I have been spending all my time with Jacob latley, and I wanted to spend more time with you.**

_Didn't you say you wanted to be with him? I have been hunting with daddy and you wanted to go hunting with Jacob._

**Well yea. But that was then, this is now. I wanna spend time with you and daddy.**

_Okay do you wanna go hunting now?_

**Nah.**

_Why not?_

**Jacob just got here.**

_But you just... oh never mind._

Hi, Bella. Hey Nessie! How's my little vampire/human baby?

_You mean MY baby?_

Oh whatever.

**I'm fine Jakey! I'm just relaxing with mommy waiting for daddy to get home. He's out hunting with Emmett.**

Ok. I'm kinda tired, I've been running around with Quill all day looking after his imprintee.

_Why don't you take a nap Jake? We will sit on the floor, you take the couch._

Thanks Bells. You don't mind, do you Nessie?

**No of course not! Take as long as you need!**

-curls up on couch and falls asleep-

_What do you mean "take as long as you need"?_

**Mom, do you not realize what opportunity this gives us? He's ASLEEP.**

_And?_

**We can do whatever we want to him! He's a very heavy sleeper. **

_I knew my baby was smart._

**=) Yep. I'll go get Rosalie's makeup.**

_I'll get one of Alice's cocktail_ dresses!

-a few min later-

**Ok ready?**

_Ready!_

**Ok, here we go. -puts eyeliner, eyeshadow, blush, and lipstick on Jacob-**

_Oh that looks great! Ok help me stand him up and get his shorts off. Hopefully he wears boxers!_

-Renesmee and bella stand Jacob up while he snores loudly. They slip off his shorts (thank god he wears boxers!) and slip Alice's red hot cocktail dress on him-

_Oh my gosh! He's beautiful! His body just fits it perfectly! -giggles-_

**I know! Oh I have an idea, lets put him in high heels and get some hair clips!**

_That, and we should put some red streaks in his hair!_

**Yes!**

-when they are done they stand back and look at their beautiful creation. Edward comes home from his hunting trip.-

Bella, Renesmee. Why is Jacob dressed like he's been on a makeover show?

**We got bored.**

Ah. What do you think he will do when he wakes up?

_I don't think we should be near him when that happens..._

**Good idea.**

Let's wake him up and then hide in the kitchen and see what happens!

_Yea!_

**Jake! Jacob! Wake up!**

Huh? What? Mmmm, gimme the cookies.

_What? Jacob wake up!_

Uh guys, he's waking up. Run!

What the.... BELLA! RENESMEE!

-Jacob tries to stand up then trips over the heels. He takes them off and looks in the mirrior-

AHHHHHHHHHH! What did you do to me?!

_-_Bella and Renesmee- _**Muahahahahahahahahhahaha!**_

**Oh my god. Jacob! Is that my makeup?! And my highlights?! AND my heels?!**

**_Rosalie what are you yelling abo- Jacob!_**

It's not what you think! It was Bella and Renesme!

**GET HIM!**

Well that turned out nicely.

_Yes, yes it did. You wanna go hunting with mommy now Renesmee?_

**Sure!**

* * *


	4. Fangtube and Pickle Phobia

Continued from Alice or Alice?? Go to youtube and type in what Edward types in the story =) It's a real treat.

Pickle Phobia

**Edward  
**_Bella_  
Alice

* * *

I see you got Eddi-bear back with the pickles! He looks like a child!

**Stop it! This is not funny!**

_Ha yea it is! You've been curled up in a ball, in that same corner surrounded by pickles, for an hour!_

Really?!

_Mmmhm!_

Sweet!

**No not sweet! It's torture! Do you know what pickles do to me?!**

_Make you wish you where human so you can cry like a baby?_

**NO!**

Give you nightmares and you have to hold onto your teddi all night?

**NO! And I got rid of that bear 90 years ago!**

_Edward... I saw you with it yesterday. And last night before our "fun time"._

**That's... that's not the same bear.**

Uh Hu.

**Just get these pickle jars away from me!**

_Only if you tell us what they do to you._

**Can I just show you?**

And how are you going to do that?

**Fangtube.**

_Fangtube?_

**Humans have youtube, we have fangtube.**

It's true. Ours is sooo much better. The videos upload faster and they are cooler.

_Oh I get it! Fast and cool like a vampire?_

**Actually no. It's a true statement.**

_Oh... I knew that._

**Now get the pickles away!**

_Oh be quiet, I'm getting rid of them._

Here Edward, I signed on your emberassing fangtube account for you.

**How'd you know my password?**

Edward, it's easy. "Bella Bella, she's so fine. She's so fine and I read her mind. Go Bella, go go go Bella."

_Aww I feel loved. =)_

**Ok, now look at this. THIS is how I feel about pickles:  
-goes to "fangtube" and types Pickle Phobia in the search bar-**

_Edward... after watching that I can only say one thing...._

**What is that, love?**

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH! I never knew my husband was such a pansy!_

She's right Edward, you're like a little girl afraid of clowns!

**Oh leave me alone!**

_Alice I swear, if vampires could cry he would be balling right now!_

No doubt about it!

**You guys are so mean!**

_Oh go cry to Jacob!_

**Fine I will!**

_Think he'll do it?_

No doubt about it! =)


	5. Gay Emmett or Rosalie? hmmmm

Emmett  
Alice

Special thanks to animeapple000 on youtube!

* * *

*sigh*

What's wrong Emmett?

I wanted to go hunting with the guys but none of them are available.

Why don't you go hunting with Rosalie?

Hunting isn't as fun with girls.

Oh. I didn't realize you where gay.

......What?

You said hunting isn't as fun with girls, that means you're gay.

Alice, I'm married to Rosalie!

You never know... she could be a he in disguise.

After all these years I'm sure I would have known if that where true.

Maybe, maybe not. She's pretty good at hiding things you know.

Oh yea. She hid my lucky boxers a few years ago and I still never found it.

You have lucky boxers?

Never mind.

Soooo..... what are you gonna do about this Rosalie "he or she" thing?

Well, I'm kind of afraid to sleep with her now, thanks Alice.

You're welcome!

So yea, I don't know what I am going to do.

Just talk to her.

And say what?! "Rosalie I know you are a man. I no longer want to sleep with you or have any contact with you whatsoever"?!

Sure, that works.

No, Alice it doesnt. If she is a woman, which by now I am only 80% sure of, I will never live that down!

Just go talk to her.

Fine.

Oh and by the way...

What?

If Rosalie is a man, which by now I am 80% sure of, you wont have any more pleasure as long as you live. And Emmett, another reminder. We're vampires, we live FOREVER.

Alice?

Yes?

I hate you.

Love you to Emmett. =)


	6. Confrontation time D

**Emmett  
**Rosalie

Continsued from gay emmett.....

* * *

**Rose?**

Yes Emmett?

**Are you a man?**

What? Who said I was a man?

**Alice...**

Uh Hu... and did she also tell you she has a broken neck in her future?

**No.**

Well she should have.

**Ok... well you never answered my question...**

No Emmett, I'm not a man.

**That's a relief... wanna have sex?**

No.

**Why not?! You said you werent a man!**

Yes Emmett I am not a man, but that doesnt mean I have to have sex with you every second of the day. Plus I have to find Alice right now.

**Oh...right. Well, take your time then!**

Oh I will.

**Oh and Rose?**

Yes?

**Will you marry me?**

Emmett.... we're already married.

**Oh...damn.**

Yea.

**Ok...um... what should I tell the others if they ask for Alice?**

She's on a shopping spree with me and wont be back until tomorrow.

**Will she be back tomorrow?**

Who knows.

**Okay!**

* * *

Yes it is short but I couldnt think of anything else hah there will be more though. Byes! ;)


	7. Barbie Bella

Yes I know I havent posted another chapter inlike forever. I am sorry. I have been really pre-occupied. But here's another chapter until I think of some more!

Bella **Edward **_Alice _Jasper 

Bella is dancing on the dining room table singing to to the top of her lungs while listening to an ipod. Results may vary.

* * *

I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN THE BARBIE WOOOORLD!

**Um.....Bella?**

LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT'S FANTASTIC!

**Bella, please tell me what you are doing. Your dance is quite disturbing.**

YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR! UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE!

**Uh... Not sure if I want to do that at this time...**

_Edward, whats wrong with Bella?_

I think she's in the mood for fun... if you know what I mean.

**Yes Jasper, I know what you mean. But I'm not sure if that's the problem.**

_What do you think she's doing?_

IMAGINATION, LIFE IS YOUR CREATION!

Um... I see what you mean Edward.

_Uh Oh._

**What did you see Alice?**

C'MON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY! AH AH AH YEAH!

_That._

Oh God! She's listening to that Barbie song! Make it stop!

_I like the dance moves._

**Not helping Alice.**

_Sorry._

C'MON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY! OOOH OOOH!

Can someone PLEASE get her to calm down!

_Jazz.... you know you can do that right?_

Oh...uh....yea. I forgot.

C'MON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY! AH AH AH YEAH! C'MON BARBIE, LET'S GO PARTY! OOOH! OOOH!

**Well do it! She's getting louder! And if she does another twirl on that pole I might get sick.**

Wait. Why does that pole look familiar?

_I have no idea what you are talking about. -runs away-_

I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN THE BARBIE WOOOORLD!

**Damnit Jasper! Now is not the time to reminice the times when Alice had fun on that! Make her stop!**

Right, sorry. Ok, let's see if this works...

LIFE IN PLASTIC, IT'S FANT........

**Yes! It's working! Keep going Jasper!**

Oh god. Edward, by my interference it's getting contagious....

**What? What do yo- oooh no, JASPER DON'T!**

YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR! UNDRESS ME EVERYWHERE!

**OH MY GOD! MAKE IT STOP!**

_I still like the dance moves. Actually it's even better now that Jasper joined in._

**ALICE! NOT HELPING!**

* * *

Well, Hope you liked it! I'll make another chapter as soon as I can think of something! BYE! :D


	8. Please read!

Hey everyone! I am soooo sorry I havent been on fanfiction in such a long time. I will make a new chapter ASAP, I might even do it today if I can think of something to write. My friend Courtney may end up helping me. I know a lot of people love her stories! Please forgive me, I will start thinking of something to write and later it might be up. I know not a lot of people have read my stuff on here because I know it's not that good but hey, this is my first story, its not supposed to be great right away. I'm thankful for those of you who do like my story so please pass it on! Thanks everyone.


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